A true story.

• First assemble all necessary SCA costuming tools: Needle Thread Measure tape Jigsaw Zip ties Drill Box knife Set out the fabric you intend to use.

• Pull your pattern out of the pouch.
• Chase the cat off the fabric.
• Cut out your pattern.
• Chase the cat off the fabric.
• Chase the cat off the pattern.
• Lay out the fabric.
• Chase the cat off the fabric x4.
• Lay out the pattern.
• Chase the cat off the pattern and fabric.
• Tape up holes in pattern.
• Cut out fabric.
• Chase cat out of the sewing chair.
• Sew fabric pieces together.
• Cut PVC for boning using jigsaw.
• Chase the cat off the fabric.
• Cut casings to fit PVC boning.
• Reclaim casings from cat claws and teeth.
• Pin casings to fabric.
• Duck as cat launches self from chair, over shoulder, onto sewing table, upsetting the pin box.
• Sprinkle room liberally with curse words.
• Clean up pins.
• Chase the cat out of the sewing chair.
• Sew on casings.
• Feed boning into casings, careful not to put out eye of cat that is playing with the ends.
• Chase the cat off farthingale.
• Try on farthingale.
• Scream and writhe in spastic fashion trying to dislodge cat that has slipped under farthingale and latched onto thigh, sure this new kitty sized tent is there only for his amusement.
• Take off the farthingale and store.
• Threaten to strangle cat.

Thomas: “Ooooo. Whatcha doing mommy?”

Me: “I’m drafting a pattern for a Turkish kaftan.”

“You put paper on the floor! Can I play with the paper?”

“No.”

“Please? Please can I play with the paper?”

“No.”

“Please? Just a little? Right here?”

“No!”

“But Mommy! Its paper!”

“No.”

“How about way down here?”

“No.” *shove*

“But down here isn’t in your way at all.”

“Get off the paper.” *shove*

“Oh no! I’m boneless cat!” *flop*

“Thomas, you are not boneless cat. Get off the paper.”

“But I’m PLAYING boneless cat. Don’t you want to play boneless cat with me?”

“I’m busy right now.”

*big sorrowful eyes* “You NEVER play boneless cat with me. Don’t you love me?”

*sigh* “Five minutes of boneless cat then you have to move.”

“Yay! And tummy scritches…”